When you enter the room, you catch your girlfriend sucking her stomach in, and then relaxing it. She runs her hands around her big stomach, looking to her sides, and then continues to try and suck in. You ask her what she’s doing, and she tries to play it off.
Oh, hey. Um, don’t-don’t worry about it…it’s nothing. I ordered a pizza for us. I already ate some of it. If you want a slice, go ahead, help yourself.
Um, okay…. So, this is really bothering me. I went online, and I ordered this pizza…these pizzas, rather. And, you know, I ordered it, and then I went to go pick it up, right? Well, when I got there and I paid for it, the woman looked at me, and then looked at my stomach, and she was like, “When are you due?” I asked her, “Due-due for what…?” And she said, “You know, when…when are you going to have the baby?” I’m not pregnant! And ever since she said that, I’ve been looking…and I mean, does it look like I’m pregnant or something? Is my stomach really that big? I mean, I know I’m not pregnant.
Maybe this shirt is unflattering or something? I don’t know…. Are you pregnant? I’m not pregnant. It’s kinda been making me feel weird. So, I went ahead and pulled out a couple of shirts that are a little bit looser, or that might look different on me. I guess I could see a little bit of a stomach here. It’s not that big, is it?
I guess I can try something else. I don’t think I’ve gained that much weight. I think my shirt is just a little bit tight. Maybe I’ve gained a little. Does that look any better? Does that hide my stomach? No…that still looks really big. I haven’t–I didn’t think I really gained any weight. I haven’t had anything really besides pizza and pop. Let me see…oh god. I think that’s worse, actually.
Alright, let me try something else. My bra’s not fitting me. Ugh, my belly looks like a muffin top. Hopefully this one…this one’s a little bit baggier. I think the other ones were too tight, I’ve had them for a bit. I’m sure that looks better. Does that cover my stomach any more?… Do I need to get a bigger size? UGH! It looks like a little baby bump or something. Oh god, I can’t even suck in. It’s just rolling over my pants. I’m going to have to wear one of your t-shirts or something.
I can’t believe it’s gotten this big! My pants are so tight. Alright, well, this is my favorite top, and I know I look really good in it. God, I’m out of breath just changing. Maybe if I, like, bend over or something? Does that help hide it? Oh god, I can see the rolls. Alright, one more shirt…. I think this one is worse than all of the other ones. Look at this fat on the side…what is this!? Where did this come from!? I guess I really haven’t been exercising.
Look at how it just spills over my jeans! It’s so jiggly and soft. Do you just…just wanna eat some pizza with me, and watch TV? God, these are so tight. Come over here, let’s watch some TV.