I’ve got a secret…I want to get fat. I’m not talking about packing a few pounds, but a few hundred. I want to be obese.
Although I’ve gotten softer and gained a few fat rolls, I’m not quite where I want to be–I’m not gaining as much as I’d like to. That’s why I asked my fat friends, Ivy and Wood, for some advice.
“Are you eating all the time? I mean, you’re not eating now,” Ivy pointed out. I had been eating chocolate, going to fast food restaurants, drinking soda, but there was something I was missing. To gain rapidly, I needed to be eating constantly.
Calories consumed meant more pounds in my body. Starting off might be a little tough, but if I kept at it, my body would start to get used to it. And being lazy was a must. They explained that I didn’t want to do anything that might cause me to lose a few pounds. That meant avoiding stairs, using scooters–anything to keep those calories.
“Speaking of eating,” Ivy said as she opened a box of Nutty Buddies, “You’re not eating now…you could be.” Ivy and Wood began feeding me nice, big bites of the chocolate and peanut butter snack to help speed up the process.
After so many snacks, I was beginning to feel full, but Wood and Ivy kept encouraging me to take more. They rubbed my tight, bloated, overflowing belly and fed me until I couldn’t take anymore.
If I kept pushing myself like this, it would take no time to get as fat as I wanted…and hopefully, even fatter than that.
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